Abuse

“Sometimes you have to let everything go – purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything – whatever is bringing you down – get rid of it.
Because you will find that when you are free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.”

-Tina Turner

A familiar story . . .

Have you ever gone to a family gathering or a friend’s BBQ after a huge fight? Wearing fake smiles, you hope that you can pull off the nonexistent “everything is great.” You hope it appears you and your partner are doing just fine!

The reality is that you are dying inside, you feel stuck, and you feel scared about what the future holds for you. The fights have not gotten physical – yet.

The threats are there; the hatefulness and the intimidation are there, but he hasn’t hit you yet. This time was a close one.

You find yourself wondering how you got here…

How did things get so bad? You swore you would never allow yourself to be treated like this! Never! But here you are feeling ashamed and controlled.

You are walking on eggshells. It’s almost time for him to come home, and you are running around making sure the dinner is prepared and the house is clean.

The fact that you have given up wearing those particular outfits, have ignored phone calls to go out with your friends and only go out with him, just doesn’t seem enough.

You want to leave him, but what about all that time you have invested in this relationship?

What about the fact that you promised you would never leave him and that you would stick by him even though he has these bouts of anger?

You look forward to the times you are doing well because those times are really good. The lovemaking is intense when you get to the point of forgiving him. He treats you so well after he’s finally come to a place of remorse – and he seems so genuine.

What do you want to do?

This is where therapy comes in. I will not tell you what to do. I will not give you advice and make sure you follow my directions.

I am here to help you become strong enough to make decisions that make you feel good about yourself, that puts you first.

If you are in an abusive relationship – whether it is emotional, mental, or physical abuse – you have been beaten down and depleted.

Surviving the trauma of an abusive relationship can cause someone to feel completely hopeless and helpless as well as filled with constant anxiety.

The ability to make decisions under those conditions that are in your best interest is very difficult and complex. It isn’t as simple as just get out of the relationship, and I get that.

I will not judge you, condemn you, or shame you. You have already experienced enough of this to last a lifetime.

I promise to support you and provide a safe and confidential space to deal with your pain and emotional struggle.

You will move toward a decision.

You will get to the point where you feel confident to make decisions and to make a life that you can feel proud of; where you can feel safe and secure.

Please call me at (562) 213-5318 or email me – stephanie@stephaniegonzalesmft.com – for more information on how I can help you.